No. 28 Bullet Train (2014) 90 of 100

 

I had avoided this film when it came out, and even when it appeared on Netflix, as it looked like a dull Brad Pitt vehicle set on a train which was somewhat unappealing to me. Having watched it for this project I’m glad that I did as it was good fun with plenty of action.

Brad stars as a hitman codenamed ‘Ladybird’ who is on a mission as a substitute for another killer. Brad is getting out of the murder game and took this job as it was a property snatch only. His breathy voiced handler (later revealed to be Sandra Bullock) keeps him on track as he navigates through the streets of Tokyo and on to the eponymous Choo-Choo. The film is flashy and a neon blaze with each character introduced with a caption and some backstory.

Brad picks up a few items from a locker but leaves behind the offered gun – this is a straightforward baggage pick up after all – huge mistake! He quickly finds the briefcase he’s after but getting off the train is another matter. We soon learn that the train is sparsely populated with the other passengers being either hit men and women or others with specific agendas.

We meet Lemon and Tangerine, two London hit-men who claim to be brothers but are of different races. They clearly aren’t Londoners with the accents they offer, but they are good fun with Lemon’s Thomas the Tank Engine obsession and Aaron Taylor-Johnson giving a standout performance as Tangerine. We also get a lethal schoolgirl type minx and a couple of Japanese who are looking for revenge.

Paths soon cross and we are treated to a lot of backstory to the characters, most of which is bloody and violent. It transpires that Lemon and Tangerine are returning a gangster's son and the $10m ransom he paid, the money being in the briefcase that Brad has purloined.

The film rattles along like the bullet train setting it has with seemingly major characters killed off with refreshing regularity. Throughout the film the ominous presence of ‘The White Death’ is mooted and it’s only with half an hour to go that he shows up – Happily he’s played by our man Shannon as I was beginning to worry he wasn’t going to appear.

It turns out The White Death has arranged for all the players to be on the train and his own motivations have still to be determined. Who will survive and who’ll get the money?

This was an enjoyable film that kept me engaged for the full two hour run time. Purists may baulk at the level of CGI in use with the whole film being shot in LA rather than the supposed Tokyo. The stunts and sets are however well done and even when the characters where being spun around in slow motion is still held a believable sense of reality. Well a bit.

There were a few fun cameos which I won’t spoil here but it helped to keep me engaged to see who’d pop up next.

Shannon has a small but significant part and he largely dominates the last half hour. His Russian accent did waver somewhat but he was menacing in his red bathrobe and with his wild and greying hair. He had a couple of good scraps and a memorable exit too.

The film doesn’t demand much of you in terms of plot but it’s all up on the screen and the most enjoyable popcorn film I’ve seen in a while.

When is Shannon-On? - 1.36.25

Outcome? Dead, Head blown off

Film 4/5

Shannon Stars 3/5